Learning how to love yourself

A major contributor to whether or not worth is high or low tends to stem from whether children were given messages that affirmed or validated their existence, their choices,their talents,their ideas,their plans. If these parts of themselves were not validated, children seemed to feel less important or valued than those around them.

Imagine for yourself a large basket given to you at birth. During those early years, you collect learning that gives you energy,hope,skills,desire, and good feelings about yourself. We'll call those messages "Flowers". You also collect messages that make you feel inadequate,small,guilty and afraid. We call those messages "Garbage messages".

Look at the following messages and assess what you are carrying around in your basket.

Garbage messages: These make us feel bad and unloved

• Don't say anything if you can't say something nice ( hide your true feelings)
• Family business is private business ( Don't Trust)
• Work first, play later ( what you do is more important than who you are)
• Boy's don't cry (Men should always be strong)
• Women shouldn't get angry ( Women should cover up angry feelings)
• Don't speak unless spoken to ( Spontaneity is wrong)
• Don't talk about sex ( There is something wrong with our bodies)
• You made your bed, now lie in it ( There is no room for mistakes)
• Anything worth doing is worth doing well ( Strive for perfectionism in everything)
• You can do better ( What you are doing is not good enough)
• I told you so ( You should have listened and did what I said. I am right and you are wrong)
• Don't hang your dirty linen public ( Don't talk and don't ask for help)
• Blood is thicker than water (Family loyalty comes first whether or not it is deserved)

Think about some of your own rules and messages you brought from the family you lived in. How many of them made you feel an increased value in yourself? And how many of them made you feel bad about yourself? Let's look at some positive messages "Flowers" that make people feel better about themselves:

• I am really proud of you today
• That was a really good idea you had
• Keep up the good work
• You are a very special person
• Good for you!
• You seem to have a lot of good ideas
• You'll probably learn a lot from that mistake
• It's a pleasure to work/play with you
• I like you just the way you are
• It's okay to have a lot of feelings
• Sometimes tears are refreshing
• I'm sorry, you are right.
• I'm happy when I'm with you

Assess what you are carrying in your basket. Decide what you want to keep and what to get rid of. 

Getting in touch with your feelings.

Psychologists, counselors, and therapists have placed a great deal of emphasis on the importance of getting in touch with ones feelings. What does that mean to get in touch?

First of all getting in touch means becoming aware that we have feelings. Getting in touch with our feelings means becoming acquainted with our subterranean emotional life. And it means learning to except of emotional life as a natural aspect of ourselves, not something to be feared or shunned or repugnant.

When we are not in touch, we're like sleepwalkers, moving through life in a trance,jolted now and then to a confusing wakefulness. Trembling and fuzzy-minded, we're overwhelmed by our own emotions and perplexed by the emotions of others.

REMEMBER: Freedom lies in understanding feelings and being able to act on that new understanding.

ME

I am the only "me" I've got.I am unique.There are two major parts of me. There is the inside "me" and the outside "me".
The outside me is what you see. The way I act,the image I portray,the way I look and things I do.
The outside me is very important.It is my messenger to the world and much of my outside me is what communicates with you. I value what I have done,the way I look, and what I share with you.

The inside "me" knows all my feelings all my secret ideas, and my many hopes and dreams. Sometimes I let you know a little bit about the inside "me" and sometimes it;s a very private part of myself.
Even though there is an enormous amount of people in this world, no one is exactly like "me". I take full responsibility for "me" and the more I learn about myself, the more responsibility I am going to take.You see my "me" is my responsibility , As I know myself more and more I find out that I am an OK person.I have done some good things in life because I am a good person. I have accomplished some things in my life because I am a competent person. I know some special people because I am worth knowing. I celebrate the many things I have done for myself.

I've also made some mistakes. I can learn from them. I have also known some people who did not appreciate me. I do not need to keep those people in my life. I've wasted some precious time. I can make new choices now. As long as I can see, hear,feel,think,change,grow and behave,I have great possibility. I am going to take those risks and those possibilities and I am going to grow and love and be and celebrate . I am worth it.

Our Dreadlock journey

 

As many of you have seen, Brooklyn and I finally did our dreadlocks last Thursday. I had been wanting to dread my hair for over a year now.  I had dreads when Peace was born and I loved them so much but after a couple months I took them out. I am not sure why but seemed right at the time I guess. This  past year  I have had a lot of things going on and just never got around to it.

 Brooklyn's 2 new baby dreads

Brooklyn has wild woman hair. It will dread up in one nights sleep.Mine is the same but doesn't get as gnarly like hers. She has never really liked me combing her hair either it has always been some sort of struggle and many times she has just cut her own hair so it doesn't have to be combed by "mom".

Brooklyn's so happy to have her dreads like mama.

So  for myself I just haven't felt right with long plain hair. I have always had something funky going on with it and with this thin straight hair I could never really find anything to do with it. I mean really other than curl it or braid it nothing seemed to fit. I usually ended putting it up and occasionally wearing it down.

 My dreads two days old

So last Wednesday I added a couple dreads to my hair and instantly fell in love with them again. Yay!! I was so excited . Brooklyn instantly was drawn to them. I could tell she loved them. After explaining to her what they were she immediately said "Mama can you please do that to my hair." I told her that dreads are a journey and they take time but she persisted and as a mama who feels that her children can make their own decisions about their hair I said okay.

 Brooklyn's dreads three days old...She loves adding all the cool colors!

So we are starting this journey together. Brooklyn started out with two dreads and now she has four. I have needle felted some cool colors into her and mine.  Today I am going to add a bunch more personally I think they look awesome on her. I have five dreads now maybe if I get a chance will add some new ones to my hair as well. I guess we will have to see how that goes.

 Dreads seem to fit me. I am not sure why they just really compliment my personality.  I feel like myself and it makes me feel so happy inside.

So we are going to start a journal here each week about how our dreads are doing, what we like about them and keep you updated on how things progress.

What journeys have your taken? How have they changed you?

Inner work and creativity

I believe that inner work is very necessary and that we are continuously growing. We are faced with challenges and hurdles to overcome because that is what makes us better ourselves. I feel as much a "student" as my children are and I am eager to wake each new day to see what information and experiences it holds.

As a parent-teacher, we must seek the balance and interweaving of thinking, feeling and willing in ourselves.

In the Heart - the loom of Feeling,
In the Head - the light of Thinking,
In the Limbs - the strength of Will
Weaving of radiant Light,
Strength of the Weaving,
Light of the surging Strength;
Lo, this is Man!

~ Rudolf Steiner, Ecce Homo

Take note of how you are sitting at the computer right now... are you sitting up straight or are you hunched over. Stay comfortable but raise your shoulders, elongate your neck to hold your hear high instead of allowing it to just sit upon your shoulders. Raise your chest as well. This immediately opens your breathing and allows you to take in more air. Breathe....

Take a moment to think about the people you love. Did you let them know today how important they are in your life? Did you tell them that you LOVE them? You should. Right now...

Think about each and every thing you are thankful for. Hold the thought in your mind. Remember it when you lay in bed tonight and go over your "list" a few times. Aren't you so blessed? There are so many things to be thankful for! Going to be with this though will bring a better sleep and dreams and you will awaken feeling refreshed and revitalized.

When you wake up tomorrow morning, stand and walk tall. Look at yourself in the mirror and see the person you WANT to be. Spend the day walking around with the belief that you are this person! Watch your posture. Is your head held high? Are you breathing properly? Feel the power of this posture and how well you feel at the end of the day. Include this feeling as one of the things you are grateful for!

Take a break. The dishes, the laundry, even the lessons can wait for a day. Take your children outside and wonder at the beauty of nature. Walk barefoot. Climb a tree with them. Swing, don't just push them... Be a child for a day. Be their friend for a day. Make a picnic and spend the afternoon laying on the grass watching the clouds slowly drift by. Squat down or sit so you are at your child's level and look deep into their eyes. Tell them how blessed you feel that they chose you to be the Mommy! Hug and kiss and tickle and play with your child. Your child needs physical affection and thrives on it. Remember, that is what attachment parenting is all about - no matter if your child is a teen. Hug and hold your child! In the evening take stock of the beautiful day and think about how grateful you are for the moment.

Be less serious. Laugh a little... no, laugh a LOT. Remember that laughter is the best medicine. Be silly, be funny, allow your child to be silly! Your child needs to see you laugh and play too, and you'll feel better!

In Reiki, we are taught that all of us have the ability to tap into the universal life flow. When you become attuned to Reiki, you open up channels to allow this life force energy to flow THROUGH you. It is constant and ever present, it is all around us at all times, when you channel this energy, and it flows through you you can do wonderful things. It deals with opening your Chakras, understanding the flow of energy, etc. but the bottom line is that in a way you are "detached" because you are using the energy which is flowing through the world and NOT using the energy which is in you.

You do not go away feeling depleted, but rather refreshed and invigorated.

Let me share something that I strongly believe: Next to the power of the universe and it's life flow, the power of thought is the most powerful "tool" we humans have been given. We need to keep our thoughts positive and focused on what we HOPE to become. You become what you think about. Everything in the world is THOUGHT MANIFESTED.

The mindset you have is what will cause you to feel drained or to feel refreshed. When I get burned out - and it almost always coincides with the times they get all wound up and "trouble making" (lots of energy flowing without an outlet) we go outside and talk to the earth.

This ALWAYS seems to center and bring them back into balance. I feel myself getting agitated because they are no longer playing creatively and they just get into that too much energy but unfocused play where they will end up being destructive, too rough, negative, etc... I stand up and say something like "oh, I feel some strange energy in the house right now" then I look at the clock and say "have we been inside all of this time?" I start to quickly clean up whatever I am doing and I head outside... They model and follow. Outside I begin to talk to the earth, the trees, the birds, the flowers...

"Oh little flowers, I could feel you calling me outside. It's much to dark in the house and the air is not as fresh as it is out here. Thank you for reminding me to come and look at your beauty. What a lovely shade of violet you have become. Have many butterflies and bees come calling today? What's that? The tree needs a hug? My goodness, I will hug the tree! I like to hug all of the trees because they help my body to breathe! I feel better when I hug the tree too because I know that the tree is my brother. In spirit, all of my great great grandmothers and fathers who have passed away, and who were buried in the earth became a part of this wise old tree... This tree holds the secrets of the generations and I am blessed that I have strong arms to give the tree a great big hug. Oooohhh. can you smell the moss today? It smells like it's growing, the heavy rain last night must have really saturated the moss. (kneeling) Oh my goodness, look at this little rollie-pollie worm - pick it up gently, this is its new home...."

Each and every time I do this my children do a complete turn around from the afternoon energy and come straight into balance.

In Reiki, we work to become grounded and I think what happens in the afternoon is that we tend to come apart and "float" our energies. All we really need is to ground ourselves again. Walking barefoot on the grass and or hugging a tree really does the trick in my family. It's quick, it's simple and it brings us back into a calm center, always. As a matter of fact, I cannot recall a time when this didn't work.

Daylight Savings time and Routines

The sun set, but not his hope.
Stars rose; his faith was earlier up
Fixed on the enormous galaxy,
Deeper and older seemed his eye
And matched his sufferance sublime
The taciturnity of time.
He Spoke, and words more soft than rain
Brought the Age of Gold again:
His action won such reverence sweet
As hid all measure of the feat

Daylight Savings time usually takes it toll on most people. You wake up feeling like you usually do and then all of a sudden it hits you that the time you thought it was is not and this ends up leaving you feel confused and out of sorts.

This can also be extremely hard for young children as well. Even though it may seem as though initially the are unaffected by the days end you can tell that same confusion has struck them too.

In order to practice good sleep hygiene, many researchers advise you to:

• Go to bed and get up at the same time each day, even on the weekends.
• Exercise regularly during the day
• Keep the bedroom dark, quiet, and comfortable.
• Set aside about 45 minutes or more to wind down at the end of the day before going to bed.
• Avoid stress and worrisome thoughts in the evening before sleep.

Now how to help ease that transition for your children:

• Maintain your child's regular sleep, wake and nap times. Try not to compensate for the lost hour by delaying bedtime or allowing your child to sleep in. This will increase the time it takes to transition. There may be some crankiness from being tired, but this should last only a day or two.
  
  
• Make gradual adjustments. Some parents find it is best to try to start making adjustments on Saturday night rather than wait until Sunday, a school night. You might even want to try making a slow transition starting on Thursday night before the time change, moving your child's bedtime earlier by 15 minutes each night. By Sunday night you will be right back on schedule.
  

Preschool and Kindergarten ~ Where to begin

There is no curriculum for a child of that age. However there are many wonderful things you can do to give your child what is truly the "best start". 

What a child of this age needs is rhythm, repetition and an active home life where Mommy allows her to participate. Helping you with your daily work, cooking, sweeping, etc. is the best curriculum you can offer. Neurophysiological researchers are finally confirming what wise parents and teachers have always known, that the first seven years provide a foundation for all of life. 

Toddlers and Preschoolers love to model your behavior and their play consists of acting out everything they take in from their surroundings, therefore the surroundings you create must be worthy of this imitation. Are you doing your housework with a "whistle while you work" attitude, or are you setting her in front of the TV or telling her not to bother you while you are busy. Many parents do not realize that young helpers grow to be willing participants in life whereas children who are told to step aside grow to be lazy and unwilling to lift a finger when it's time to help. 

 

You must be conscious and awake to what your child is taking in. Is the TV off? Does she have her own tools to work alongside you in the kitchen, garden, etc.? At our house we realize the importance of little hands helping so we have small sized cutting boards, knives, gardening tools, rakes, brooms and so forth all around the house.

These items are an investment in the child's education because they ARE the curriculum for this age group. Children also love to cook and play with dough. Bake bread, make soup, go to market and discuss what you are buying, and why. (Not with scientific explanations, but rather to give the child some sensory experiences. Example: "Oh my, look at all of these lovely apples. Which should be choose for our lovely cake?" and then smell them point out the bruised ones and behave as though the bunch you chose were the best of the lot - and what a great eye for apple picking your little one has!)

A child this age imitates, so provide creative opportunities where she can imitate you. There isn't much need for any explaining or discussion... Just go about your work, humming a sweet tune and soon your child will be working happily alongside you. She is watching you and wants to do as you do, so be aware of HOW you go about your work. Your child is learning how to behave and how to react during this time. 

 

Children of this age also delight in simple movement games, nursery rhymes and finger plays. If you want to feel like you need to "do something" as far as "curriculum", Than an informal circle is a good addition to your day. 

 

Allow your child to play. provide silks, stones, clips and indulge her wanting to build castles and hiding spaces. Allow your child's imagination to take over and try not to "instruct" your child on things at this age. When I worked as a parent toddler leader, I was so saddened by the parents who had to tell their child everything. 

They never allowed their children to explore or discover anything for themselves. The child would pick up a simple wooden block and begin to play and the parent would rush over "Oh, I see you have a block, what are you going to do with that?" - Meanwhile, for all we know, the child imagined it to be a piece of fruit, a person, a friend... Parents and children often quickly became agitated and the children would react by behaving in anti social ways. So allow your child to wonder and to imagine, to dream. Step back from the feeling that you must explain everything... now is not the time.

Finally, rhythm, rhythm, rhythm. This is KEY in the life education of any child. The child needs to know what she can count on, and know her place in her world. She just blossoms when there is order and simplicity and she feels good following a routine. Do you have a daily rhythm? A weekly rhythm? A seasonal rhythm? Do you celebrate festivals and holidays with your child fully involved?

In closing, I wanted to add that you should feel good that your child is home with you and know that in itself is the best start. While children from deprived homes may benefit from a nursery program, the IDEAL for toddlers and preschoolers is a stable, secure and loving home life with a parent who provides and encourages satisfying and creative activities for the child. 

Playspace

The Incredible Telling Of How I Made You

Trish McDermott for her son Ryan before he was born

Some babies are made in the shade, some the sun.
Some babies get made for the happy and fun,
Or accidents happen and babies appear.
It's all sort of tricky and exactly not clear.

Some babies get made just like a surprise,
When mothers are sleeping or closing their eyes.
Some babies get made when there's nothing to do,
But this hardly compares to how I made you.

You were my dream right from the start.
You tickled my smile and filled up my heart.
Even before you were growing in me,
You were my golly, my gosh my gee.

You were my spin, my sparkle and swirl.
You were my boy, my baby, my girl.
You were my under and over and out.
You were the stuff that my life's all about.

So I napped in the shade and danced in the sun.
I made my happiness and then did some fun.
I held all my breaths and wished you were here,
But try as I might, you wouldn't appear.

Then I read in a book that you must be a wife,
And get a husband, and live a life
That for me didn't seem too happy or gay,
So I thought up a more cheerful, sunnier way.

I blew lots of bubbles and stood on my head.
I slept upside down at the foot of my bed.
I jumped and I bumped for making a baby,
Then I got an idea that came as a maybe.

Maybe I can't pull a baby from the air.
Maybe a baby needs people to share.
Maybe I needed a helper or two.
Maybe I needed a family for you.

So I climbed up a hill and said to the sky,
"I'll start with a man, a swell kind of guy.
He'd have a big heart, an adventurous mind,
And tend to be sunny and funny and kind."

"One that wanted a baby for all of his life,
But wasn't the kind to marry a wife."
And I searched all the world then found just the guy
With feet on the ground but dreams in the sky.

Then I found you a puppy, some snails and a cat,
A cousin, an uncle and a boy in a hat.
I got you a fairy with many good lucks,
And a girl who knew all of the names of the trucks.

I got you a man who knew about flowers,
And a doctor in training with magical powers.
I found you a neighbor and a woman so wise
You could see in her heart when you looked in her eyes.

I collected some buddies and friends and old pals,
My most favorite people--some guys and some gals.
I found you an aunt and a grandma, quite bended.
This is your family, though somewhat extended.

They each love you ten thousand times in their heart,
And for making a baby that's a very good start.
If you took all that love and got it uncurled,
It would wrap fifty-nine times around the whole world.

You see, babies don't need a husband and wife,
And they don't have to come from one kind of life.
They don't have to live in any one place,
And they certainly don't have just one kind of face.

I made you my darling with giggles and hugs,
With cuddles and grins and barrels of loves.
As family and friends and lovers stood by,
I made you with oceans and mountains and sky.

I made you with sunshine and jumps through big puddles.
I made you in spite of their rules and their muddles.
I made you for reasons of happy and joy.
You are my darling, my girl or my boy.

Just how we got here and the way that we came
To be a family and friends isn't always the same.
So come as you are, and at your own pace,
Live a fine life with honor and grace.

Now you wiggle inside me, wanting to play,
But before you get here, I wanted to say:
You make a world shiny, my sky always blue.
It's incredible baby, the way I made you.

Children's Oppression!

Dancing between the tables: on the personhood of children

I recently ran across a piece of child-hate (no, I’m not telling you where) that said, in part, “Sure, I think children are people, but their parents need to make sure they act like it in public! People in restaurants don’t crawl on the floor or dance between the tables!” Really? Because I’m pretty sure what you were talking about just then was a person who was, in fact, dancing between the empty tables.
This is but one example of the widespread phenomenon of child-hate disguised as simply a “concerned citizen”: children are OK in public, as long as they don’t in any way attract an adult’s attention. It usually comes with a hefty dose of mother-blame (which is a type of misogyny, remember), in the form of “she should control her kids, or keep them at home!”
I don’t really want to get into a discussion of what level of behavior is appropriate to allow children in public, though: what I want to talk about is the message behind these kinds of statements (and the fact that the discussion is about allowing in the first place).


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LOVE IS ENERGY!

Being a better Parent

Want to be a better parent? Be more selfish!
by Gregory Ramey, PhD, child psychologist at Dayton Children's and Dayton Daily News columnist
At a workshop for parents of older teenagers, I asked the group “What was the biggest mistake you made when your children were younger?”

I expected the typical answers about the need for consistency, limit setting, and positive feedback. Instead, one parent bluntly responded, “I think I spent too much time with my children. I made them the center of my world. That wasn’t good for them, me or my husband.”

There was an awkward silence for a few moments. This candid response evoked a strong and supportive reaction from the other parents, most of whom were mothers.
One mom remarked that, “Our lives centered around our children’s needs when they were infants. However, I don’t think I did a good job in adjusting as they got older. My 14-year-old still thinks the world revolves around her. When she needs something, she expects me to stop whatever I’m doing and take her somewhere. What about my life? I must admit I’ve inadvertently raised her to think that she is the most important person in our family.”

Another parent, recently divorced, lamented the effects this parenting style had on her marriage. “I wish I had been more selfish. I gave up too much for my children. I stopped working out, gave up my interest in pottery, and didn’t spend much time with my husband. Now, I’m divorced and my kids are getting ready to go off to college. I’m not sure what’s left in my life.”

This approach to child rearing, making kids the center of the family, is so very different than the way children have historically been raised in this country and elsewhere. What’s going on with this generation of parents?

One parent volunteered, “I have great kids. I enjoyed being with them and getting involved in their activities. I always tried to build up their self-concept and tell them how special and important they were. I think I went too far. I don’t think I prepared them for the real world.”

Another parent offered a different perspective. “I’ve always been successful in everything I’ve done. My children are an extension and reflection of me. Since I quit my job to raise them, I wanted to be as successful with them as I was in my profession.”

As I carefully listened to this group, I realized that this child-centered approach was due to a number of cultural changes in the past several decades. One of the factors had to do with people in my profession. We preached the wrong message about children.

Professionals like myself have made a serious mistake in communicating that the needs of children should come first in the family. We’ve focused on children’s needs, not what’s best for the family. We’ve talked about the importance of helping children feel good about themselves rather than act properly. We’ve focused on self-concept and individual growth rather than the importance of sacrifice and contributing to others. When kids misbehave, we blamed parents rather than acknowledge what every professional knows but is afraid to say. Some kids are just bad, in spite of and not because of their parents.

Parents of very young children can learn a lot from the mistakes of the “children first” generation. Keep the focus on the needs of the family, not the wishes of your child. The way to be a good parent is to maintain your own interests and individuality. Spend time with your spouse, nurturing and developing that relationship.

Enjoy, love, and stay involved with your kids. Just don’t forget about the rest of the family—you and your spouse!
Gregory Ramey, PhD, is a child psychologist at The Children’s Medical Center of Dayton and a columnist for the Dayton Daily News.

Meditation Tuesdays! Children's Meditation

CHILDREN’S MEDITATION

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This is an exercise to teach your children how to still their minds and focus their attention, enhancing their self-confidence.
The meditation helps them to concentrate through visualization and expanding their creativity. Children also develop their inner calm, security, self-confidence, and self-awareness.


Try this meditation at bedtime, and your kid will sleep more relaxed. It will be a magical experience.


MAGIC FRIEND
Sit or lie in a comfortable position and close your eyes.
When there is, something that, you think it is impossible for you to get in your life, or when you feel you need some magic to do something very special, and very unlikely to happen, ask for help to your Magic Friend.
Your Magic Friend is someone who lives in your heart. He is always with you. Only you can see him, and only you know who he is. And he is your special best Friend.
Who would you like to be as your best friend? Think of one person, one animal, a God or Goddess, some mystical entity, something or someone you feel as the most powerful being to help you to fulfill your dreams and overcome your fears.
Now, close your eyes and think of your magic friend… He is far away, in a place where only you know the path to get there. He is so special and magic as you need him to be. And now you would like to be with him a lot … So, you put yourself on your way there!
You leave your place and walk in the direction of the mountains. When you get there, look around, chose the tallest one to climb.


Start your way up to the top of the mountain. Climbing up and up you reach the top where you find the most beautiful rainbow you ever saw waiting for you.
You climb into it and it goes up, slowly … and gently…! You look back to the mountain, and it is getting far away, as the rainbow goes up.
Now, tell the rainbow where it should head, to your special place where your Magic Friend is waiting for you. Give it the instructions to get there, and enjoy your journey.
When the rainbow stops, you are at your special place. Look who is there waiting for you, smiling with his arms opened, willing to hug you, to cherish you. It is your Magic Friend … he is there, willing to help you to fulfil your wishes, to overcome your challenges.
Take your time… and remember you are there for a reason, so … Be you, with confidence, faith, and certainty. Be just you!
Talk to your Magic Friend, feel his friendship, notice the soft way he uses to talk to you, how he understands you.
You know, he is always there for you,
You know, he always helps you, to get successfully what you need,
You know, he is only yours friend,
You know, that is yours special place.


Stay there enjoying your friend and let your heart talk to him about what worries you.
When you feel it is time to come back thank him for his help, and tell him you will come back soon. Then, climb the rainbow again, and do your way back to the mountains. In the next moment, you are arriving in your room.
When you are ready, bring your awareness to your body and breathe deeply a couple of times, stretch your back and open your eyes.
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP!

Unschooling is homeschooling without the school!

Unschoolers ‘homeschool’ without any curriculum. It’s what life probably looked like before schooling was institutionalized. Children purse their own interests and they do so at their own pace. When they want help and ask for it, parents help them learn if they can, or find someone qualified to do so if they can’t.
Play is paramount, and studies demonstrate that this is probably the best way children learn. They tend to set up adult scenarios and play them out, learning by a safe method of trial and error. Playing ‘house’ and ‘school’ are two such examples.


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Meditation Tuesdays!

Well today has been a hard day for me. I have been feeling really overwhelmed with housework,laundry,kids. It seems as though I can never get anything finished or when I finish one thing something else is destroyed,dirty or needs to be washed.

Sigh.... so I really needed a time out for me this morning. One thing that I found helps me is to have a place in my house where I can have a few moments to myself. In my room I created my meditation corner. With all things I love like candles, my favorite sachet filled with lavender, Some of my favorite paintings etc. When I am feeling overwhelmed,sad, anxious I take a few moments of me time.

Take a few moments to meditate on the blessings and lessons you have received from your children.

Changing your mindset is the single most powerful and important step you can take to change your life. The power of positive thinking has been studied by the psychiatric medical, scientific and spiritual community and they've all determined the same thing - positive thinking has power. Of course, changing the way you think is easier said than done. That's where positive affirmations become a very useful tool.
What Is a Positive Thinking Affirmation?
A positive affirmation is a statement you can use to replace a commonly held negative statement. For example, if you're always saying, "I feel so overwhlemed," then a good positive affirmation to replace this sentiment might be, "I am in control and feeling calm".

Positive affirmations help you change your thinking by giving you something to lean on. They help you stay aware of your thoughts, which is the first step to changing them.
Finding the Right Affirmations for You
The next step is to determine what your negative thoughts are and to replace them. Here is a great list of positive affirmations for women.
• My body heals quickly and easily
• I am the picture of good health
• The more grateful I am, the more reasons I find to be grateful
• I am a wonderful mother
• I give out love and it is returned to me tenfold
• I have a wonderful partner and we are both happy and at peace
• I am the perfect weight for me
• I make positive healthy choices for myself
• I express my needs and feelings
• I am my own unique self - special, creative and wonderful
• Everything comes to me easily and effortlessly
• I love and appreciate myself just as I am
• I accept all my feelings as part of myself
• I love doing my job
• I always communicate clearly and effectively
• It's okay for me to have everything I want
• I am getting wealthier each day
• I have an abundance of energy
• My mind is calm
• My thoughts are under my control
• I am successful in whatever I do
As you look through the list of potential positive affirmations, are any compelling? Do any of those affirmations ring true to you or cause a stir of emotion? The affirmations which resonate with you are good ones to start with. For example, if you've been struggling with your weight, spend some thing thinking about the negative self-talk you have around that issue and find a few positive affirmations which give you the strength and motivation to move through this challenge.
Affirmations are the first step toward changing your thoughts, however with any process; it takes time, practice, patience and a love and acceptance for yourself. Negative thoughts will slip in from time to time but as you practice, it will get easier. Trust yourself and the positive affirmation process. It will change your life.

Being positive truly has great power !

Meditation Tuesdays!

"Concentration it is that awakens our powers and channels them, dissolving obstacles in our path, literally attracting opportunities, insights, and inspirations. In many ways, subtle as well as obvious, concentration is the single most important key to success." Part II, The Art & Science of Raja Yoga

Meditation is a way of life. It is to be lived. We have a vast reservoir of energy in us, lying unused, untapped. Once we get in touch with this energy, our life changes from just being an ordinary to a divine one. Meditation is being in tune with our inner energy source.

As parents we need time to meditate, time to reflect our lives as parents and as individuals.We often forget we are separate from our children and we do need time for ourselves.

Meditation Tuesdays will be a wonderful way to help you relax and focus. I will offer you a simple yet very powerful meditation that you can do and it will only take a few minutes of your time. You will see that in doing this just a few minutes a day your whole day can be more productive and more relaxed.

Meditation is being with our true self; being able to control all activities of the mind and senses a well as making the right choices. Meditation is an antidote to the mounting stress and tension. The tremendous transformation that meditation can bring to you can be derived only by delving into its experiences with the child-like innocence.

Make yourself comfortable, sitting upright, with a straight spine. With your eyes closed, look at the point midway between the eyebrows on your forehead.

Inhale slowly, counting to eight. Hold the breath for the same eight counts while concentrating your attention at the point between the eyebrows. Now exhale slowly to the same count of eight. Repeat three to six times.

After inhaling and exhaling completely, as the next breath comes in, mentally say Hong (rhymes with song). Then, as you exhale, mentally say Sau (rhymes with saw). Hong Sau means 'I am He' or 'I am Spirit'. Make no attempt to control your breathing, just let its flow be completely natural. Try to feel that your breath itself is silently making the sounds of Hong and Sau. Initially try to feel the breath at the point where it enters the nostrils.

Be as attentive as possible. If you have difficulty feeling the breath, you can concentrate, for a while, on the breathing process itself, feeling your diaphragm and chest expanding and contracting.

Gradually as you become more calm, try to feel the breath higher and higher in the nose. Be sure that your gaze is kept steady at the point between the eyebrows throughout your practice. Don't allow your eyes to follow the movement of the breath. If you find that your mind has wandered, simply bring it back to an awareness of the breath and the mantra.

Common Sense People!!

Steiner stands out firstly for insisting that knowledge gained from insight, instinct and experience are not only as valuable as logical reasoning, but take precedence over it. Thus, common sense is more important than even the most highly trained intellect, which is obvious to everyone but intellectuals. This helps further to account for his absence from the ranks of our academic heroes.

The Funeral of Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the name of Common Sense.

Common Sense lived a long life but died from heart failure on the brink of the millennium. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense.

He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm, and life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including body piercing, whole language and "new math." But his health declined when he became infected with the If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.

In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing regulations. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies, reports of six-year-old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student.

It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but cannot inform the parent when the female student is pregnant or wants an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports.

Finally a woman who was stupid enough not to realize that coffee is hot and was awarded a huge payout caused Common Sense to finally throw in the towel.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for asbestos, low flow toilets, bicycle helmets and mandatory air bags.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

A Wonderful Calendula Salve recipe

CALENDULA HEALING SALVE
A Stovetop Preparation

Uses: Regenerates tissue! Apply to chapped hands all winter. Use for burns, scrapes, or on diaper area. A wonderful salve for garden-worked hands.


2-3 cups Calendula Petals (harvest blossoms after dew dries and before noon)
1 cup Olive Oil (is antibacterial and goes rancid more slowly than other oils)
1/4 cup or 2 oz. Beeswax (chips melt more readily)


Optional:
several drops Rose or Lavender Oil (adds nice scent, calming)
1 oz. Lanolin (makes salve creamier, but some children react to this)
1/2 oz. Glycerin (makes salve creamier, compare to above recipe to see which you prefer)

* Recipe can be increased proportionately for larger quantities *

1. Use small gathering baskets to pick moisture-free calendula flowers on a sunny morning. Take time to enjoy the full rich color, form and delicate scent of the flowers. As children remove petals into the stainless pan a sticky flower residue will be their first introduction to the plant's hidden qualities.

2. Add olive oil to the pan and place over the lowest possible heat. Stir rhythmically as the oil heats to avoid “cooking” the petals in over-heated oil. Small bubbles may form on the bottom of the pan. This is as “hot” as the oil should get. Stir to distribute warmth throughout the calendula oil. Continue for a total of 1 to 2 hours. This task may be divided over two days time if cooled and covered tightly between beatings. (I often set aside a “little bit” of the petals so that each child may sprinkle some into the oil when it is their turn to stir.) Hum, sing as children take turns stirring their love into the medicine oil.


“Round and round the Earth is turning, turning round and round to morning, and from
morning round to night.”

3. Allow calendula oil to cool to the point where the calendula petals can be strained from the oil, pouring it through (unbleached) cheesecloth. Twist cheesecloth full of oily petals into a bundle and secure with a twist tie or string.

4. Use a wooden spoon to press oil free through the cheesecloth. I find a stainless steel mesh strainer helpful. The cheesecloth is placed in the mesh strainer over a bowl as children press oil out of calendula flowers. It takes a fair amount of pressing to remove every precious spoonful of amber-colored calendula oil. It is also a wonderful opportunity for the children to be dabbed with the oily cheesecloth and rub or massage the warm oil into their chapped hands, knees, elbows.

5. In order to blend oil with melted beeswax both must be similar temperatures. Return calendula oil to pan to be gently warmed again while beeswax is melted over a double burner, but not directly over heat as it is highly flammable. When wax is melted and close to the temperature of the oil, pour wax into oil.

When completely unified remove from heat. Pour into lipped measuring cup and then into small sterilized jars. Allow children to observe salve “setting up” over the next ten minutes as they decorate/illustrate labels for their jar. After cooled and set, cap jars with lids and adhere labels.

Allow to cool another 10 minutes before handling. Store in cool conditions free from direct sunlight and heat.

End with a song, verse, or gratitude blessing.

EQUIPMENT:
• harvest baskets
• stainless steel pan
• spatula
• wooden spoon
• stove top or double-burner hot plate
• double boiler for melting beeswax
• cheesecloth (unbleached, if possible)
• twist tie or string
• mesh stainless steel strainer and a bowl to fit strainer in
• lipped measuring cup for pouring oil into tiny jars
• small, lidded jars such as jelly or honey sample jars. Be sure children's fingers can reach bottom
of jar to remove every precious drop of salve. Amber or cobalt jars protect salve, but do not allow
children to see the true color or setting up of salve.
• tiny paper labels and colored pencils for making labels (calendula colored scraps of painting
paper make nice labels too)
• clear tape for adhering labels

Beautiful Morning Verses

* * * * * * *

The golden sun is shining
Up in the sky so blue;
Good morning, happy morning,
Good morning, sun, to you.

* * * * * * *

With joy we greet the morning sun,
Who shines with love on everyone,
Who shines in the sky, on the land and sea,
And who fills me with light
When he shines on me.

* * * * * * *

"Wake!" says the sunshine,
"It's time to get up.
Wake little daisies,


Wake little children,
And come out to play
Wake! for the world
Is so happy today!"

* * * * * * *

Awake, the sun is shining bright
He drives away the long dark night.
The moon and stars have gone to bed,
And earth is softest green is dressed.
Now we open wide our hearts
Of this great world we are all parts,
And if we work, or sleep, or play;
Be with us golden sun this day.

* * * * * * *

Early Morning Sun does shine,
Far up in the clear blue sky
Wake up sweetie, Let's begin our day
There's Lot's to see and do today.

*************************

Early morning
Bright sun
Blue sky
Turtle Dove
Let's Fly

****************************

Stretch up high
Stretch down low
wake up now
For there is snow

*******************************

Goals of the Waldorf Approach

The main goal for any Waldorf Inspired parent teacher is to develop the capacities (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual) which will serve your child throughout his or her life. Before you can truly achieve this, you need to: Have a real understanding of how a child develops at each stage and what the child needs while passing through each stage. Offer creative methods which stimulate your child and engage him/her in an integrated approach. Have the skills and practice to model and lead the children, yourself. If you are teaching a movement exercise, you need to practice it until you have down the correct movement because the child imitates... If you are reading a story or reciting a poem, you need to be so familiar with it that they are a part of your speech and not just word being read aloud... you need to master the art of beeswax, wet on wet, etc... the key is to learn these skills alone before introducing them to your child. You must also be familiar with INTEGRATED form of study. This means simply, that subjects which are "normally" presented separately be presented in the same lesson so that they are integrated to one another. The more related they are, the more meaning they will have for the child. The ultimate reward is a child who is fully involved in each lesson: Their THINKING is stimulated, their FEELINGS really connect to the subject matter and they become ACTIVE in the lesson. This is the key to the Waldorf Approach. When a child is fully integrated, s/he has a deepened sense of understanding and a better grasp of the material presented. This goes way beyond traditional methods of memorizing or learning. A WONDERFUL book and absolute MUST HAVE tool for each and every home schooling parent is Putting the Heart Back into Teaching : A Manual for Junior Primary Teachers. This book is NOT a manual of lesson plans or theories... this excellent treasure trove of information is "the Bible" for Waldorf home schooling parent teachers. Lessons and curriculum ideas aside, this book offers so much information on the child's psychology in the different stages based on Waldorf beliefs and ideas, great detail and an simple way to observe and understand the temperaments, and so much more. It offers stories, songs, verses and games to make your job so much easier. The best part is most likely the fact that this is really like having 10 books in one: Waldorf Ideals & Principles, Curriculum for grades K-4, Child Psychology based on Waldorf principles, Understanding the Temperaments, A Collection of Waldorf Stories, Verses, Poems, Songs, Understanding the Four Fold Nature of Human Beings, The TRUE inspirations behind rhythm, Child's Consciousness, Using the Story as a Central Learning Resource, Learning and Using the Seven Lively Arts, Presenting true "Waldorf" alphabet, form drawing and math lessons, and a great section on Handwork! This wonderful book has it all and I have worked with teachers who use this book as a starting point to each and every lesson.

Flower and Earth Children

Children are so connected to living things in the garden. Below are a few of my absolute favorite flower fairies/children storybooks...

My name is Maginary the Fairy,

My life is joyful and oh, so merry:

If you want to be happy all the day,

Learn about living the fairy way.

We are gentle nature spirits you can trust.

Flowers and wishes bloom because of us.

We have a warm heart that shines so bright,

When you believe in us, you'll see the light.

We are really just tiny versions of you,

But our eyes shimmer with a magical view:

We try to be good, at least most of the time--

If I make a mistake, I admit that it's mine

Next time you hear the wind, listen well:

Soft whispers and secret laughter will tell

That fairy friends and magic are near

To help you with the things you hold dear!
The above taken from Fairy Fun by Marla Schram Schwartz. This is a great little book. It has instruction for projects, games, ways to bring fairies into your life. 

Midnight Fairy Craft and Party Book

Sprinkle a little fairy dust in your world! These marvelous crafts, fantastic party ideas, wonderful games, and enchanting stories twinkle across the pages ready to delight the young and young at heart. Bring the realm of the fairies into your own home with a series of glittering decorative items: a pretty, soft-bodied doll; a gilded castle, shining brightly; and a sparkling wand so you can cast some spells. Carry your stardust in a velvet and lame bag with a gold cord threaded through. Create a delicate fairytale scene in an old book; a large wish box or a small one with glimmer wings; and picture frames. And, because the fairy magic will catch you, give a very special party. Wear the fairy or wizard outfit that you've stitched up yourself; eat small chocolate star-shaped fairy cakes; and play Fairy Statues and Pin the Star on the Wand. There's so much to make and do! (all in color)

Fairy Fun

Does your child love the special make-believe magic of Fairyland? If she does--and most do!--Fairy Fun will delight with all kinds of wonderful, creative, and easy fairy crafts and activities. Using simple items found around the house and garden, your child can make fairy dust, a magic wand, fairy wings, and a fairy house. She'll make a pretty flower doll, grow a magic garden, and play with a fantasy sun catcher. She'll learn the best way to make wishes come true, how to do a fairy dance, and how to discover fairies outside. She'll find easy magic tricks, fairy riddles, tongue twisters, lots of fun ideas for playing with friends, and games for fairy parties and sleep-overs. With its wondrous color illustrations and imaginative projects, Fairy Fun will win the heart of every child who knows just how real fairies are.

Dear Fairies

When Adele finds a tiny letter among the strawberries in her garden, she discovers that there really are fairies living nearby! As she pulls each letter from its hidden place, she learns all about these magical creatures. The storybook will delight every little girl. There is also a special foldout section that includes note cards, envelopes, a pencil, and fairy stars for composing one's own letters to fairies!

Fairy Wings

Little Fia is the youngest fairy in a family of eight sisters; her sisters have lovely wings, she has none. Fia's seven sisters have compassion for her lack of wings, but they disapprove of her earthly behavior and the animals she has befriended, which are a frog, a rat, and a crow. It's time for the May Dance, and the fairies will be showing off their wings in the reflection of Puffers Pond near Troll's Wood. Fia has reconciled to being left out again. While sharing a new creation with rat, Fia runs into a boy fairy named Kip. He invites her to the dance, and she accepts. Will she be brave enough to follow through? Will the May Dance be safe near Troll's Wood where the wing-collecting Troll lives? Fairy Wings is a creatively written, artistically illustrated tale. The story is memorable, and little Fia, delicate in appearance, is valiant in thought and deed. She is a great role model. Fairy Wings is enjoyable for all ages, including adults. Getting through this 30-page wonder will take longer than you think; each illustration is wonderfully done, and will demand ample attention before you can turn to the next.

Wow! Finally you can have the step-by-step instructions you need to create wonderful ting fairy folk... This lovely book, entitled Fairies: Petal People You Make Yourself Rachel Haab presents Fairies: Petal People You Make Yourself, with a tiny spiral bound guide featuring illustrations, photographs and easy-to-follow instructions for making the wee creatures. A handy craft kit contains all the necessary materials including fake flower petals, colored wire and embroidery floss. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!