Fabulous Friday Giveaway!

Don't Forget the Natural Parenting Blog party over at the  http://thepeacefulhousewife.com ...This is a great way to find other natural parenting blogs and learn more about each other as well.

GIVEAWAY TIME

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Come and ENTER TO WIN

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Natural Parenting Blog Party

Today is the first day of the Natural Parenting Blog party over at http://thepeacefulhousewife.com ...This is a great way to find other natural parenting blogs and learn more about each other as well.

GIVEAWAY TIME

It is a Fabulous Natural Parenting Blog Party Giveaway! Who doesn’t love a giveaway? This Giveaway is for one of our Beautiful Rainbow Stacking Toys

Come and ENTER TO WIN

To begin we are asked to participate in answering some questions to get to know each other better:



How many children do you have, and how old are they?

I have three children a son who is nine years old, a daughter who is six years old and another daughter who is three years old.

Do you have a partner, or are you a single parent?

Yes, my husband and I have been married for 12 years this year. I am so glad we have each other .


What are your “hot button” parenting issues?

Circumcision HIS BODY, HIS DECISION .

Vaccination Over Six years of studying the risks and the benefits and I have yet to find any benefits NO VACCINES FOR US

Breastfeeding. When you look at the feeding recommendations from the World Health Organization (WHO) you will find that the first choice for infant feeding is breastfeeding. If that is not possible the choices are:
“The second choice is the mother’s own milk expressed and given to the infant in some way. The third choice is the milk of another human mother.The fourth and last choice is artificial baby milk (infant formula)” Every baby deserves Breastmilk. If you have trouble contact Le leche league

Homebirth....Had my daughter Peace at home in under two hours. It was bliss and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Pregnancy is not an illness, Trust birth.

Have you made any parenting choices that you didn’t think you would make before you were a parent, i.e. cloth diapering a child when you had previously thought it was disgusting?

Hmm thinking back there was nothing I ever thought was disgusting but I can share my first experiences with cloth diapers.
I had no experience with them and had only seen flat diapers. This was back in 2001 and we didn't even have internet access at the time.
We went to our local drugstore and bought a package of flat gerber prefolds, plastic covers and diaper pins. At the time I thought I was so cool.
I struggled with how to fold the diaper and get it secure with pins on a wiggling baby. The diapers also didn't hold anything and leaked all the time.
I finally gave up and said "Why, do people use those things they are such an inconvenience."

If I had only known about All in ones, wool longies  and pocket diapers.

It makes me happy knowing there are so many choices today. That you do not have to get leaky prefolds and pins and you can get awesome set like this one:

Is there one book or person in particular that’s heavily influenced your parenting choices?

Summerhill:A Radical Approach to Child Rearing. This book was given to me by a friend. When I saw the book at first it was old looking and kinda tattered. I didn't think much of it and set it on the shelf for later reading. One day I found myself with nothing to do, my son was away visiting his Grandmother and my husband was out working. So I pulled the book off the shelf and started reading. Right away from the the beginning I loved the book.

One of my favorite quotes of his is :

"The function of the child is to live his own life - not the life that his anxious parents think he should live."

If you had to describe each of your children using only one word, what word would you use?



Imaginative


Is there one parenting decision that you regret more than others and wish you could change?

I wish I knew more about natural parenting when I had my first child. Back then I was a mainstream mom.
I vaccinated,used Pampers and had no support with breastfeeding. My doctor even recommend using CIO method but mostly I wish I was more educated on Vaccines. If I could turn back time I would have never vaccinated him.

Is there an area of your parenting you wish you were better at?

Organization...Seems like no matter how hard I try I can never keep things organized. Be it clothes, books, cabinets, art supplies they end up all over the place. I have tried using baskets, boxes, crates you name it . Nothing helps. I know where everything is but I just can't stand the clutter. Any tips and advice much appreciated!!

Now for the fun questions – is there one particular food or type of food that you could eat every day?

My smoothies...I love them so much and how I can create something new everyday.

Vanilla ice cream or chocolate?

Chocolate

What’s your guilty pleasure?

Delicious homemade caramels...need I say more!

If you could be part of any television show, which show would it be?

Hmm I do not watch television 

Mama Love

Bright and early this morning around Five am. I was awoken by a sweet little sick girl... tummy aches and pains. She needs lots of 'mama love', snuggles and some nourishing tea.

Most people know that it is important to replace minerals as well as lost water after illness, especially the tummy bug but most electrolyte drinks contain only sodium and potassium rather than all the minerals our bodies need to be healthy.

Very Simply you can make your own mineral-rich herbal electrolyte drink by combining a few herbs.  This nourishing tea contains:

• B vitamins, which support the functioning of the liver and nervous system.

• calcium, magnesium, iron, zinc, chromium, potassium, silica, and other trace minerals. Calcium and magnesium help build healthy bones, ease muscle spasms and cramping, and reduce inflammation. Zinc enhances immune system functioning, while chromium helps regulate blood-sugar levels.

To replace lost electrolytes the body basically needs sodium and sugar. The following recipe will help to replenish these electrolytes naturally and also offer the added benefits of chamomile and ginger.

Ginger is anti-spasmodic, anti-inflammatory and anti-emetic and so will help to relieve cramping, reduce inflammation and reduce nausea and vomiting. Chamomile is also anti-spasmodic and anti-inflammatory but moreover is anti-microbial. In particular it contains chamazulene, which is active against Staphlococcus aureus. In addition, chamomile is relaxing and so will help to calm upset children.
You can also make delicious Popsicles with this tea.

Herbal Re-hydration Tea

2 tbsp honey or sugar
1/4tsp table salt
1/4tsp baking soda
Combination of each chamomile flowers,nettles,elderflower and berries,Lemon Grass,Rose hips,Cinnamon,Wild cherry Bark
1 inch raw ginger root sliced
8 cups boiled water


Boil 8 cups water, add the salt, baking soda, honey, herbs and ginger. Stir, cover and leave to infuse for at the least 10 minutes but can be steeped for up to 3 hours. Strain through muslin and sip a little every 10-15 minutes. Can be a warm or cold tea.

Peace loved sipping on her tea. I can tell it made her feel better  almost instantly.

She said "Mama, I love the smell of pretty wet flowers"

Then she drank up every last bit

How do you give your little one "Mama Love" when they are under the weather?

Our Dreadlock journey

 

As many of you have seen, Brooklyn and I finally did our dreadlocks last Thursday. I had been wanting to dread my hair for over a year now.  I had dreads when Peace was born and I loved them so much but after a couple months I took them out. I am not sure why but seemed right at the time I guess. This  past year  I have had a lot of things going on and just never got around to it.

 Brooklyn's 2 new baby dreads

Brooklyn has wild woman hair. It will dread up in one nights sleep.Mine is the same but doesn't get as gnarly like hers. She has never really liked me combing her hair either it has always been some sort of struggle and many times she has just cut her own hair so it doesn't have to be combed by "mom".

Brooklyn's so happy to have her dreads like mama.

So  for myself I just haven't felt right with long plain hair. I have always had something funky going on with it and with this thin straight hair I could never really find anything to do with it. I mean really other than curl it or braid it nothing seemed to fit. I usually ended putting it up and occasionally wearing it down.

 My dreads two days old

So last Wednesday I added a couple dreads to my hair and instantly fell in love with them again. Yay!! I was so excited . Brooklyn instantly was drawn to them. I could tell she loved them. After explaining to her what they were she immediately said "Mama can you please do that to my hair." I told her that dreads are a journey and they take time but she persisted and as a mama who feels that her children can make their own decisions about their hair I said okay.

 Brooklyn's dreads three days old...She loves adding all the cool colors!

So we are starting this journey together. Brooklyn started out with two dreads and now she has four. I have needle felted some cool colors into her and mine.  Today I am going to add a bunch more personally I think they look awesome on her. I have five dreads now maybe if I get a chance will add some new ones to my hair as well. I guess we will have to see how that goes.

 Dreads seem to fit me. I am not sure why they just really compliment my personality.  I feel like myself and it makes me feel so happy inside.

So we are going to start a journal here each week about how our dreads are doing, what we like about them and keep you updated on how things progress.

What journeys have your taken? How have they changed you?

Preschool and Kindergarten ~ Where to begin

There is no curriculum for a child of that age. However there are many wonderful things you can do to give your child what is truly the "best start". 

What a child of this age needs is rhythm, repetition and an active home life where Mommy allows her to participate. Helping you with your daily work, cooking, sweeping, etc. is the best curriculum you can offer. Neurophysiological researchers are finally confirming what wise parents and teachers have always known, that the first seven years provide a foundation for all of life. 

Toddlers and Preschoolers love to model your behavior and their play consists of acting out everything they take in from their surroundings, therefore the surroundings you create must be worthy of this imitation. Are you doing your housework with a "whistle while you work" attitude, or are you setting her in front of the TV or telling her not to bother you while you are busy. Many parents do not realize that young helpers grow to be willing participants in life whereas children who are told to step aside grow to be lazy and unwilling to lift a finger when it's time to help. 

 

You must be conscious and awake to what your child is taking in. Is the TV off? Does she have her own tools to work alongside you in the kitchen, garden, etc.? At our house we realize the importance of little hands helping so we have small sized cutting boards, knives, gardening tools, rakes, brooms and so forth all around the house.

These items are an investment in the child's education because they ARE the curriculum for this age group. Children also love to cook and play with dough. Bake bread, make soup, go to market and discuss what you are buying, and why. (Not with scientific explanations, but rather to give the child some sensory experiences. Example: "Oh my, look at all of these lovely apples. Which should be choose for our lovely cake?" and then smell them point out the bruised ones and behave as though the bunch you chose were the best of the lot - and what a great eye for apple picking your little one has!)

A child this age imitates, so provide creative opportunities where she can imitate you. There isn't much need for any explaining or discussion... Just go about your work, humming a sweet tune and soon your child will be working happily alongside you. She is watching you and wants to do as you do, so be aware of HOW you go about your work. Your child is learning how to behave and how to react during this time. 

 

Children of this age also delight in simple movement games, nursery rhymes and finger plays. If you want to feel like you need to "do something" as far as "curriculum", Than an informal circle is a good addition to your day. 

 

Allow your child to play. provide silks, stones, clips and indulge her wanting to build castles and hiding spaces. Allow your child's imagination to take over and try not to "instruct" your child on things at this age. When I worked as a parent toddler leader, I was so saddened by the parents who had to tell their child everything. 

They never allowed their children to explore or discover anything for themselves. The child would pick up a simple wooden block and begin to play and the parent would rush over "Oh, I see you have a block, what are you going to do with that?" - Meanwhile, for all we know, the child imagined it to be a piece of fruit, a person, a friend... Parents and children often quickly became agitated and the children would react by behaving in anti social ways. So allow your child to wonder and to imagine, to dream. Step back from the feeling that you must explain everything... now is not the time.

Finally, rhythm, rhythm, rhythm. This is KEY in the life education of any child. The child needs to know what she can count on, and know her place in her world. She just blossoms when there is order and simplicity and she feels good following a routine. Do you have a daily rhythm? A weekly rhythm? A seasonal rhythm? Do you celebrate festivals and holidays with your child fully involved?

In closing, I wanted to add that you should feel good that your child is home with you and know that in itself is the best start. While children from deprived homes may benefit from a nursery program, the IDEAL for toddlers and preschoolers is a stable, secure and loving home life with a parent who provides and encourages satisfying and creative activities for the child. 

Playspace

The Incredible Telling Of How I Made You

Trish McDermott for her son Ryan before he was born

Some babies are made in the shade, some the sun.
Some babies get made for the happy and fun,
Or accidents happen and babies appear.
It's all sort of tricky and exactly not clear.

Some babies get made just like a surprise,
When mothers are sleeping or closing their eyes.
Some babies get made when there's nothing to do,
But this hardly compares to how I made you.

You were my dream right from the start.
You tickled my smile and filled up my heart.
Even before you were growing in me,
You were my golly, my gosh my gee.

You were my spin, my sparkle and swirl.
You were my boy, my baby, my girl.
You were my under and over and out.
You were the stuff that my life's all about.

So I napped in the shade and danced in the sun.
I made my happiness and then did some fun.
I held all my breaths and wished you were here,
But try as I might, you wouldn't appear.

Then I read in a book that you must be a wife,
And get a husband, and live a life
That for me didn't seem too happy or gay,
So I thought up a more cheerful, sunnier way.

I blew lots of bubbles and stood on my head.
I slept upside down at the foot of my bed.
I jumped and I bumped for making a baby,
Then I got an idea that came as a maybe.

Maybe I can't pull a baby from the air.
Maybe a baby needs people to share.
Maybe I needed a helper or two.
Maybe I needed a family for you.

So I climbed up a hill and said to the sky,
"I'll start with a man, a swell kind of guy.
He'd have a big heart, an adventurous mind,
And tend to be sunny and funny and kind."

"One that wanted a baby for all of his life,
But wasn't the kind to marry a wife."
And I searched all the world then found just the guy
With feet on the ground but dreams in the sky.

Then I found you a puppy, some snails and a cat,
A cousin, an uncle and a boy in a hat.
I got you a fairy with many good lucks,
And a girl who knew all of the names of the trucks.

I got you a man who knew about flowers,
And a doctor in training with magical powers.
I found you a neighbor and a woman so wise
You could see in her heart when you looked in her eyes.

I collected some buddies and friends and old pals,
My most favorite people--some guys and some gals.
I found you an aunt and a grandma, quite bended.
This is your family, though somewhat extended.

They each love you ten thousand times in their heart,
And for making a baby that's a very good start.
If you took all that love and got it uncurled,
It would wrap fifty-nine times around the whole world.

You see, babies don't need a husband and wife,
And they don't have to come from one kind of life.
They don't have to live in any one place,
And they certainly don't have just one kind of face.

I made you my darling with giggles and hugs,
With cuddles and grins and barrels of loves.
As family and friends and lovers stood by,
I made you with oceans and mountains and sky.

I made you with sunshine and jumps through big puddles.
I made you in spite of their rules and their muddles.
I made you for reasons of happy and joy.
You are my darling, my girl or my boy.

Just how we got here and the way that we came
To be a family and friends isn't always the same.
So come as you are, and at your own pace,
Live a fine life with honor and grace.

Now you wiggle inside me, wanting to play,
But before you get here, I wanted to say:
You make a world shiny, my sky always blue.
It's incredible baby, the way I made you.

Children's Oppression!

Dancing between the tables: on the personhood of children

I recently ran across a piece of child-hate (no, I’m not telling you where) that said, in part, “Sure, I think children are people, but their parents need to make sure they act like it in public! People in restaurants don’t crawl on the floor or dance between the tables!” Really? Because I’m pretty sure what you were talking about just then was a person who was, in fact, dancing between the empty tables.
This is but one example of the widespread phenomenon of child-hate disguised as simply a “concerned citizen”: children are OK in public, as long as they don’t in any way attract an adult’s attention. It usually comes with a hefty dose of mother-blame (which is a type of misogyny, remember), in the form of “she should control her kids, or keep them at home!”
I don’t really want to get into a discussion of what level of behavior is appropriate to allow children in public, though: what I want to talk about is the message behind these kinds of statements (and the fact that the discussion is about allowing in the first place).


To read the rest of this article CLICK HERE!

Simple Waldorf Style party!

In years past we have done many wonderful Birthday parties! Ranging from way to many people, tearing through presents and tons of chaos!!! It wasn't until a friend of mine shard how they do there birthday parties that things changed from chaos to quiet. I will share with you my sons seventh birthday and following a good rule, we allowed only one child per year of age, so it was a small and intimate affair....

I didn't purchase any "party favors" but instead we chose to make our own with Gabrial's help. We sought out polished stones, shells and healthy naturally sweet treats (carob raisins , nuts and granola bars from the local health food store).

We sewed beanbags with ribbon streamers coming off one end. We carefully wrapped the polished stones along with some glass pebbles in colorful tissue and ribbons.

Instead of store bought goodie bags we handmade our own bags out of fabric pieces we had leftover from various sewing projects! We also tried to remember how we "do" goodie bags at our home... well, Gabrial remembered that we don’t give them to each child as they come in, instead we wait until the very end. This is so that the children have something to take home and keep, and they are not consuming too much sugary sweets in such a short time! 

Guests arrived at in the afternoon. We had several games for the children planned: First we started out with a simple circle song. The children played several circle and movement games which kept them very active and moving for about 30 minutes. Afterward the kids gathered around for a special birthday story !

Meanwhile, I set up the cake, candles, and matches on a small table.

I passed out small cupcakes each with a small beeswax candle in it to all of the children. I explained to all of the children that the way we do birthdays is that we each get to have the candle on our cupcakes lit and we each get to make a wish for Gabrial, so my husband walked from child to child, lighting the candle and asking each child what they wished for Gabrial. "I wish you to get lots of presents", "I wish for you to play with me everyday", "I wish for you to be happy" were some of the wishes. Each child delighted in that they had the opportunity to blow out a candle and make a wish (and an important lesson is that they made the wish for someone other than themselves!) 

After that, We told the wonderful story of Gabrial's Rainbow Bridge As we told the story, all of the children (and parents) were in awe of Gabe. He sat tall and proud, after all, this is a celebration of the day of his birth! As we spoke of him coming over the rainbow bridge, he stood up, walked proudly to us and then sat with us. He was so pleased, he was squeezing my hand very hard because it had such a "ceremonial" feel to it. We then went on with the story and for each year of Gabrial’s life with us, and lit candles. When all of the candles were lit, we carried the cake to Gabe who made a wish and blew out the candles. We all sang "Happy Birthday to You" and the every one went off to eat cake, cupcakes, and play. 

The Children then had some free play time.

While, I did a quick clean up and set out a place for the opening of gifts. (Now maybe I just have a personal peeve here, but I have noticed that at each and every party we have ever been to, the gifts get piled high, the cards and tags fall off, and the child rips through from one gift to the next. I have always tried to teach that a person puts much time, care and love into choosing a gift, and that needs to be acknowledged) 

So, for that reason, at our house, the gift giving is done a bit differently... Each child (and parent) holds onto their gift. When it is nearing the end of the party, we sit in a huge circle and I ask that everyone please be patient as Gabrial opens the gifts. Now this may sound kind of tedious for many, but the actual experience is a great "lesson" for all of us home and unschoolers. Also, as each child carries and presents his gift, Gabe gives them the goodie bag. It’s nice because each child gets to open a gift, plus they don’t lose it during the 2 hours of the party... it goes home intact! I’ve taught Gabe to thank each person by looking into their eye and either offering them a hug or a hand shake and I truly believe that giving and receiving go completely hand in hand and lend themselves to the "breathing in-breathing out" rhythm. I am pleased to say that it went very well. 

Of course, we will now spend the next few days preparing lovely Thank you notes, and at our house... doing that is almost as much fun!

“A healthy social life is found only, when in the mirror of each soul the whole community finds its reflection, and when in the whole community the virtue of each one is living” Rudolf Steiner

Count Down to a Birthday!

I have been busy, busy planning our own little one's Birthday and here are some verses which I have found. I hope you enjoy them!

When I have said my evening prayer,
And my clothes are folded in the chair,
And Mother switches off the light,
I'll still be four years old tonight.

But, from the very break of day,
Before the children rise and play,
Before the greenness turns to gold,
Tomorrow, I'll be Five years old.

Five kisses when I wake.
Five candles on my cake!

* * * * * * * * * *

In heaven shines a golden star,
An angel led me from afar,
From Heaven high under to earth,
and brought me to my house of birth.

Welcome, welcome lovely day
With flowers bright and sunshine gay,
With painted birds that sing their song
And make me kind and good and strong.

* * * * * * * * * *

Someone's birthday is coming soon,
Someone who is in this room,
Our (Brooklyn) will be (Five) years old,
Shining with (her) heart of gold.

* * * * * * * * * *

The stars are watching for her birth,
A little child comes down to earth;
Angels do help her both day and night,
To fill her heart with love and light;
(Five) burning candles we did prepare,
To shine upon your birthday fair.

* * * * * * * * * *

Happy birthday dear (Brooklyn),
We sing now to you.
Happy birthday dear (Brooklyn),
May your wishes come true.

* * * * * * * * * *

We wish you a happy birthday
A joyful and celebrated birthday
To our friend _________
May she have a long, long life!

* * * * * * * * * *

Our Rainbow Bridge Story

There are as many versions of this classic Waldorf Birthday story as there are Waldorf teachers and children. This version of the classic story we wrote for our children. This one is about our daughter Brooklyn. Please be sure to change the story to better describe your child and history!

Long ago a little fairy flew from star to star gathering light and music, which came from all around her. At each star she met beautiful Fairies who showed her the way. One day one of the fairies said, "It is time to go to the Sun." Little fairy followed to a place of warmth shining like gold. There bees and butterflies sang to her of love. The fairy lead her to the moon, clean and crisp like new snow. From the moon she saw the most beautiful sight- a place of flowers, trees, rolling oceans, and two special souls who seemed to be smiling up at her. "May I go there?" little fairy asked the Beautiful Fairy "It is time," the Fairy said. "You may use the gifts of light and music you have gathered to carry you over the rainbow bridge. There a mother and a father have been waiting for you." Little Fairy carried her gifts over the rainbow bridge to her new home on the Earth.

(At this time Brooklyn walks over the rainbow silk to come sit with us)

From the very first moment her parents saw her they loved her and they called her Brooklyn Grayce. When she was born it was a crisp Autumn evening and a million stars were smiling down on her from the sky. She was absolutely beautiful chubby and round. She nursed and nursed and fell right asleep in her mommy's arms.

(light the first candle)

And then Brooklyn was one year old she loved playing with her older brother. Peek-a-boo was one of her favorite games to play. Her hair was a beautiful goldenrod color with curls.

(light the second candle)

When she was two years old she loved to help in the kitchen, kneading bread and making her own creations. She loved pockets and pouches and filled them with the many treasures which she found.One night she stood up on the living room table and did a dance with her hand out singing the most creative of lyrics "Awtch Awtch Awtch Awtch" then she jumped onto to the couch with a gleam in her eye!

(light the third candle)

When she was three years old she loved to play outside in the leaves and build forts with her brother out back in the trees. Swinging on the Willow tree vines was her favorite thing to do. Her brother showed her how to hold on tight. Brooklyn was very excited to find out she was going to be a big sister!

(light the fourth candle)

When she was four years old she moved to a new house, where she had her own room ! Her and mama spent much time fingerknitting and making crafts. She loved going to the beach, swimming and playing in the sand. She became a wonderful artist and began to draw pictures of all of the adventures she had and like magic, in ONE day she learned to ride her bike!

(light the fifth candle)

And now Brooklyn is Five years old. She has grown strong and is very smart and helpful, and a very good friend. We are happy to know Brooklyn and to be a part of her fifth birthday.

(make a wish, blow out the candles and sing Happy Birthday)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EVERYONE!

LOVE IS ENERGY!

Teaching the importance of meditating

CHILDREN’S MEDITATION

This is an exercise to teach your children how to still their minds and focus their attention, enhancing their self-confidence.
The meditation helps them to concentrate through visualization and expanding their creativity. Children also develop their inner calm, security, self-confidence, and self-awareness.


Try this meditation at bedtime, and your kid will sleep more relaxed. It will be a magical experience.


MAGIC FRIEND
Sit or lie in a comfortable position and close your eyes.
When there is, something that, you think it is impossible for you to get in your life, or when you feel you need some magic to do something very special, and very unlikely to happen, ask for help to your Magic Friend.
Your Magic Friend is someone who lives in your heart. He is always with you. Only you can see him, and only you know who he is. And he is your special best Friend.
Who would you like to be as your best friend? Think of one person, one animal, a God or Goddess, some mystical entity, something or someone you feel as the most powerful being to help you to fulfill your dreams and overcome your fears.
Now, close your eyes and think of your magic friend… He is far away, in a place where only you know the path to get there. He is so special and magic as you need him to be. And now you would like to be with him a lot … So, you put yourself on your way there!
You leave your place and walk in the direction of the mountains. When you get there, look around, chose the tallest one to climb.


Start your way up to the top of the mountain. Climbing up and up you reach the top where you find the most beautiful rainbow you ever saw waiting for you.
You climb into it and it goes up, slowly … and gently…! You look back to the mountain, and it is getting far away, as the rainbow goes up.
Now, tell the rainbow where it should head, to your special place where your Magic Friend is waiting for you. Give it the instructions to get there, and enjoy your journey.
When the rainbow stops, you are at your special place. Look who is there waiting for you, smiling with his arms opened, willing to hug you, to cherish you. It is your Magic Friend … he is there, willing to help you to fulfil your wishes, to overcome your challenges.
Take your time… and remember you are there for a reason, so … Be you, with confidence, faith, and certainty. Be just you!
Talk to your Magic Friend, feel his friendship, notice the soft way he uses to talk to you, how he understands you.
You know, he is always there for you,
You know, he always helps you, to get successfully what you need,
You know, he is only yours friend,
You know, that is yours special place.


Stay there enjoying your friend and let your heart talk to him about what worries you.
When you feel it is time to come back thank him for his help, and tell him you will come back soon. Then, climb the rainbow again, and do your way back to the mountains. In the next moment, you are arriving in your room.
When you are ready, bring your awareness to your body and breathe deeply a couple of times, stretch your back and open your eyes.
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP!

Autumn Verses

Autumn wind came stealing
Through the woods one day,
And creeping round the tree, he stole
Their beauty all away.
He tore their russet dresses,
Combed off their golden hair.
He blew away the tattered bits,
And left them brown and bare.

* * * * * * * *

Autumn winds are sighing,
Stealing through the forest brown,
As they softly pass the tree trunks
Little leaves come falling down.
But a stronger gale is blowing
And then the leaves themselves
Rise and dance about the forest
Just like little elves.
Faster, faster see them whirling
Till the gale has passed.
One by one the tired leaflets
Sink to rest at last.

* * * * * * * *

The north wind came along one day,
So strong and full of fun;
He called the leaves down from the trees
And said, "Run children run".
They came in read and yellow dress,
In shaded green and brown,
And all the short November day
He chased them round the town.
They ran in crowds, they ran alone,
They hid behind the trees,
The north winds laughing found them there
And called "No stopping please"
But when he saw them tired out
And huddled in a heap,
He softly said, "Goodnight my dears,
Now let us go to sleep."

* * * * * * * *

My nice red rosy apple has a secret midst unseen;
You'd see if you could slip inside,
five rooms so neat and clean.
In each room there are hiding
two seeds so shining bright;
Asleep they are and dreaming
of a lovely warm sunlight.
And sometimes they are dreaming
of many things to be
How some day they'll be hanging
upon a Christmas tree

* * * * * * * *

The world is full of color
'Tis Autumn once again
And leaves of gold and crimson
Are lying in the lane
There are brown and yellow acorns
Berries and scarlet haws
Amber gorse and heather
Purple across the moors
Green apples in the orchard
Flushed by a glowing sun
Mellow pears and brambles
Where colored pheasants run

* * * * * * * *

October is a piper,
Piping down the dell
Sad sweet songs of sunshine
Summer's last farewell,
He pipes till grey November
Comes in the mist and rain,
And then he puts his pipe away
Till Autumn comes again

* * * * * * * *

Jack O Lantern, Jack O lantern
Your light it doth shine,
Sitting up upon the window
And your light it is mine.

Once you were a yellow pumpkin
Sitting on a sturdy vine
Now you are a Jack O lantern,
And in the night you will shine.

Being a better Parent

Want to be a better parent? Be more selfish!
by Gregory Ramey, PhD, child psychologist at Dayton Children's and Dayton Daily News columnist
At a workshop for parents of older teenagers, I asked the group “What was the biggest mistake you made when your children were younger?”

I expected the typical answers about the need for consistency, limit setting, and positive feedback. Instead, one parent bluntly responded, “I think I spent too much time with my children. I made them the center of my world. That wasn’t good for them, me or my husband.”

There was an awkward silence for a few moments. This candid response evoked a strong and supportive reaction from the other parents, most of whom were mothers.
One mom remarked that, “Our lives centered around our children’s needs when they were infants. However, I don’t think I did a good job in adjusting as they got older. My 14-year-old still thinks the world revolves around her. When she needs something, she expects me to stop whatever I’m doing and take her somewhere. What about my life? I must admit I’ve inadvertently raised her to think that she is the most important person in our family.”

Another parent, recently divorced, lamented the effects this parenting style had on her marriage. “I wish I had been more selfish. I gave up too much for my children. I stopped working out, gave up my interest in pottery, and didn’t spend much time with my husband. Now, I’m divorced and my kids are getting ready to go off to college. I’m not sure what’s left in my life.”

This approach to child rearing, making kids the center of the family, is so very different than the way children have historically been raised in this country and elsewhere. What’s going on with this generation of parents?

One parent volunteered, “I have great kids. I enjoyed being with them and getting involved in their activities. I always tried to build up their self-concept and tell them how special and important they were. I think I went too far. I don’t think I prepared them for the real world.”

Another parent offered a different perspective. “I’ve always been successful in everything I’ve done. My children are an extension and reflection of me. Since I quit my job to raise them, I wanted to be as successful with them as I was in my profession.”

As I carefully listened to this group, I realized that this child-centered approach was due to a number of cultural changes in the past several decades. One of the factors had to do with people in my profession. We preached the wrong message about children.

Professionals like myself have made a serious mistake in communicating that the needs of children should come first in the family. We’ve focused on children’s needs, not what’s best for the family. We’ve talked about the importance of helping children feel good about themselves rather than act properly. We’ve focused on self-concept and individual growth rather than the importance of sacrifice and contributing to others. When kids misbehave, we blamed parents rather than acknowledge what every professional knows but is afraid to say. Some kids are just bad, in spite of and not because of their parents.

Parents of very young children can learn a lot from the mistakes of the “children first” generation. Keep the focus on the needs of the family, not the wishes of your child. The way to be a good parent is to maintain your own interests and individuality. Spend time with your spouse, nurturing and developing that relationship.

Enjoy, love, and stay involved with your kids. Just don’t forget about the rest of the family—you and your spouse!
Gregory Ramey, PhD, is a child psychologist at The Children’s Medical Center of Dayton and a columnist for the Dayton Daily News.

The Wisdom of Hunter-Gatherers

For hundreds of thousands of years, up until the time when agriculture was invented (a mere 10,000 years ago), we were all hunter-gatherers. Our human instincts, including all of the instinctive means by which we learn, came about in the context of that way of life. And so it is natural to ask: How do hunter-gatherer children learn what they need to know to become effective adults within their culture?

In the last half of the 20th century, anthropologists located and observed many groups of people - in remote parts of Africa, Asia, Australia, New Guinea, South America, and elsewhere - who had maintained a hunting-and-gathering life, almost unaffected by modern ways. Although each group studied had its own language and other cultural traditions, the various groups were found to be similar in many basic ways, which allows us to speak of the "hunter-gatherer way of life" in the singular. Wherever they were found, hunter-gatherers lived in small nomadic bands (of about 25 to 50 people per band), made decisions democratically, had ethical systems that centered on egalitarian values and sharing, and had rich cultural traditions that included music, art, games, dances, and time-honored stories.

To supplement what we could find in the anthropological literature, several years ago Jonathan Ogas (then a graduate student) and I contacted a number of anthropologists who had lived among hunter-gatherers and asked them to respond to a written questionnaire about their observations of children's lives. Nine such scholars kindly responded to our questionnaire. Among them, they had studied six different hunter-gatherer cultures - three in Africa, one in Malaysia, one in the Philippines, and one in New Guinea.

What I learned from my reading and our questionnaire was startling for its consistency from culture. Here I will summarize four conclusions, which I think are most relevant to the issue of self-education. Because I would like you to picture these practices as occurring now, I will use the present tense in describing them, even though the practices and the cultures themselves have been largely destroyed in recent years by intrusions from the more "developed" world around them.

1. Hunter-gatherer children must learn an enormous amount to become successful adults.

It would be a mistake to think that education is not a big issue for hunter-gatherers because they don't have to learn much. In fact, they have to learn an enormous amount.

To become effective hunters, boys must learn the habits of the two or three hundred different species of mammals and birds that the band hunts; must know how to track such game using the slightest clues; must be able to craft perfectly the tools of hunting, such as bows and arrows, blowguns and darts, snares or nets; and must be extraordinarily skilled at using those tools.

To become effective gatherers, girls must learn which of the countless varieties of roots, tubers, nuts, seeds, fruits, and greens in their area are edible and nutritious, when and where to find them, how to dig them (in the case of roots and tubers), how to extract the edible portions efficiently (in the case of grains, nuts, and certain plant fibers), and in some cases how to process them to make them edible or increase their nutritional value. These abilities include physical skills, honed by years of practice, as well as the capacity to remember, use, add to, and modify an enormous store of culturally shared verbal knowledge about the food materials.

In addition, hunter-gatherer children must learn how to navigate their huge foraging territory, build huts, make fires, cook, fend off predators, predict weather changes, treat wounds and diseases, assist births, care for infants, maintain harmony within their group, negotiate with neighboring groups, tell stories, make music, and engage in various dances and rituals of their culture. Since there is little specialization beyond that of men as hunters and women as gatherers, each person must acquire a large fraction of the total knowledge and skills of the culture.

2. The children learn all this without being taught.

Although hunter-gatherer children must learn an enormous amount, hunter-gatherers have nothing like school. Adults do not establish a curriculum, or attempt to motivate children to learn, or give lessons, or monitor children's progress. When asked how children learn what they need to know, hunter-gatherer adults invariably answer with words that mean essentially: "They teach themselves through their observations, play, and exploration." Occasionally an adult might offer a word of advice or demonstrate how to do something better, such as how to shape an arrowhead, but such help is given only when the child clearly desires it. Adults to not initiate, direct, or interfere with children's activities. Adults do not show any evidence of worry about their children's education; millennia of experience have proven to them that children are experts at educating themselves.¹

3. The children are afforded enormous amounts of time to play and explore.

In response to our question about how much time children had for play, the anthropologists we surveyed were unanimous in indicating that the hunter-gatherer children they observed were free to play most if not all of the day, every day. Typical responses are the following:

• "[Batek] children were free to play nearly all the time; no one expected children to do serious work until they were in their late teens." (Karen Endicott.)
• "Both girls and boys [among the Nharo] had almost all day every day free to play." (Alan Barnard.)
• "[Efé] boys were free to play nearly all the time until age 15-17; for girls most of the day, in between a few errands and some babysitting, was spent in play." (Robert Bailey.)
• "[!Kung] children played from dawn to dusk." (Nancy Howell.)

The freedom that hunter-gatherer children enjoy to pursue their own interests comes partly from the adults' understanding that such pursuits are the surest path to education. It also comes from the general spirit of egalitarianism and personal autonomy that pervades hunter-gatherer cultures and applies as much to children as to adults.² Hunter-gatherer adults view children as complete individuals, with rights comparable to those of adults. Their assumption is that children will, of their own accord, begin contributing to the economy of the band when they are developmentally ready to do so. There is no need to make children or anyone else do what they don't want to do. It is remarkable to think that our instincts to learn and to contribute to the community evolved in a world in which our instincts were trusted!

4. Children observe adults' activities and incorporate those activities into their play.

Hunter-gatherer children are never isolated from adult activities. They observe directly all that occurs in camp - the preparations to move, the building of huts, the making and mending of tools and other artifacts, the food preparation and cooking, the nursing and care of infants, the precautions taken against predators and diseases, the gossip and discussions, the arguments and politics, the dances and festivities. They sometimes accompany adults on food gathering trips, and by age 10 or so, boys sometimes accompany men on hunting trips.

The children not only observe all of these activities, but they also incorporate them into their play, and through that play they become skilled at the activities. As they grow older, their play turns gradually into the real thing. There is no sharp division between playful participation and real participation in the valued activities of the group.

For example, boys who one day are playfully hunting butterflies with their little bows and arrows are, on a later day, playfully hunting small mammals and bringing some of them home to eat, and on yet a later day are joining men on real hunting trips, still in the spirit of play. As another example, both boys and girls commonly build play huts, modeled after the real huts that their parents build. In her response to our questionnaire, Nancy Howell pointed out that !Kung children commonly build a whole village of play huts a few hundred yards from the real village. The play village then becomes a playground where they act out many of the kinds of scenes that they observe among adults.

The respondents to our survey referred also to many other examples of valued adult activities that were emulated regularly by children in play. Digging up roots, fishing, smoking porcupines out of holes, cooking, caring for infants, climbing trees, building vine ladders, using knives and other tools, making tools, carrying heavy loads, building rafts, making fires, defending against attacks from predators, imitating animals (a means of identifying animals and learning their habits), making music, dancing, storytelling, and arguing were all mentioned by one or more respondents. Because all this play occurs in an age-mixed environment, the smaller children are constantly learning from the older ones.

Nobody has to tell or encourage the children to do all this. They do it naturally because, like children everywhere, there is nothing that they desire more than to grow up and to be like the successful adults that they see around them. The desire to grow up is a powerful motive that blends with the drives to play and explore and ensures that children, if given a chance, will practice endlessly the skills that they need to develop to become effective adults.

by Peter Gray, Ph.D.

Meditation Tuesdays! Children's Meditation

CHILDREN’S MEDITATION

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This is an exercise to teach your children how to still their minds and focus their attention, enhancing their self-confidence.
The meditation helps them to concentrate through visualization and expanding their creativity. Children also develop their inner calm, security, self-confidence, and self-awareness.


Try this meditation at bedtime, and your kid will sleep more relaxed. It will be a magical experience.


MAGIC FRIEND
Sit or lie in a comfortable position and close your eyes.
When there is, something that, you think it is impossible for you to get in your life, or when you feel you need some magic to do something very special, and very unlikely to happen, ask for help to your Magic Friend.
Your Magic Friend is someone who lives in your heart. He is always with you. Only you can see him, and only you know who he is. And he is your special best Friend.
Who would you like to be as your best friend? Think of one person, one animal, a God or Goddess, some mystical entity, something or someone you feel as the most powerful being to help you to fulfill your dreams and overcome your fears.
Now, close your eyes and think of your magic friend… He is far away, in a place where only you know the path to get there. He is so special and magic as you need him to be. And now you would like to be with him a lot … So, you put yourself on your way there!
You leave your place and walk in the direction of the mountains. When you get there, look around, chose the tallest one to climb.


Start your way up to the top of the mountain. Climbing up and up you reach the top where you find the most beautiful rainbow you ever saw waiting for you.
You climb into it and it goes up, slowly … and gently…! You look back to the mountain, and it is getting far away, as the rainbow goes up.
Now, tell the rainbow where it should head, to your special place where your Magic Friend is waiting for you. Give it the instructions to get there, and enjoy your journey.
When the rainbow stops, you are at your special place. Look who is there waiting for you, smiling with his arms opened, willing to hug you, to cherish you. It is your Magic Friend … he is there, willing to help you to fulfil your wishes, to overcome your challenges.
Take your time… and remember you are there for a reason, so … Be you, with confidence, faith, and certainty. Be just you!
Talk to your Magic Friend, feel his friendship, notice the soft way he uses to talk to you, how he understands you.
You know, he is always there for you,
You know, he always helps you, to get successfully what you need,
You know, he is only yours friend,
You know, that is yours special place.


Stay there enjoying your friend and let your heart talk to him about what worries you.
When you feel it is time to come back thank him for his help, and tell him you will come back soon. Then, climb the rainbow again, and do your way back to the mountains. In the next moment, you are arriving in your room.
When you are ready, bring your awareness to your body and breathe deeply a couple of times, stretch your back and open your eyes.
HAVE A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP!

Unschooling is homeschooling without the school!

Unschoolers ‘homeschool’ without any curriculum. It’s what life probably looked like before schooling was institutionalized. Children purse their own interests and they do so at their own pace. When they want help and ask for it, parents help them learn if they can, or find someone qualified to do so if they can’t.
Play is paramount, and studies demonstrate that this is probably the best way children learn. They tend to set up adult scenarios and play them out, learning by a safe method of trial and error. Playing ‘house’ and ‘school’ are two such examples.


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Meditation Tuesdays!

Well today has been a hard day for me. I have been feeling really overwhelmed with housework,laundry,kids. It seems as though I can never get anything finished or when I finish one thing something else is destroyed,dirty or needs to be washed.

Sigh.... so I really needed a time out for me this morning. One thing that I found helps me is to have a place in my house where I can have a few moments to myself. In my room I created my meditation corner. With all things I love like candles, my favorite sachet filled with lavender, Some of my favorite paintings etc. When I am feeling overwhelmed,sad, anxious I take a few moments of me time.

Take a few moments to meditate on the blessings and lessons you have received from your children.

Changing your mindset is the single most powerful and important step you can take to change your life. The power of positive thinking has been studied by the psychiatric medical, scientific and spiritual community and they've all determined the same thing - positive thinking has power. Of course, changing the way you think is easier said than done. That's where positive affirmations become a very useful tool.
What Is a Positive Thinking Affirmation?
A positive affirmation is a statement you can use to replace a commonly held negative statement. For example, if you're always saying, "I feel so overwhlemed," then a good positive affirmation to replace this sentiment might be, "I am in control and feeling calm".

Positive affirmations help you change your thinking by giving you something to lean on. They help you stay aware of your thoughts, which is the first step to changing them.
Finding the Right Affirmations for You
The next step is to determine what your negative thoughts are and to replace them. Here is a great list of positive affirmations for women.
• My body heals quickly and easily
• I am the picture of good health
• The more grateful I am, the more reasons I find to be grateful
• I am a wonderful mother
• I give out love and it is returned to me tenfold
• I have a wonderful partner and we are both happy and at peace
• I am the perfect weight for me
• I make positive healthy choices for myself
• I express my needs and feelings
• I am my own unique self - special, creative and wonderful
• Everything comes to me easily and effortlessly
• I love and appreciate myself just as I am
• I accept all my feelings as part of myself
• I love doing my job
• I always communicate clearly and effectively
• It's okay for me to have everything I want
• I am getting wealthier each day
• I have an abundance of energy
• My mind is calm
• My thoughts are under my control
• I am successful in whatever I do
As you look through the list of potential positive affirmations, are any compelling? Do any of those affirmations ring true to you or cause a stir of emotion? The affirmations which resonate with you are good ones to start with. For example, if you've been struggling with your weight, spend some thing thinking about the negative self-talk you have around that issue and find a few positive affirmations which give you the strength and motivation to move through this challenge.
Affirmations are the first step toward changing your thoughts, however with any process; it takes time, practice, patience and a love and acceptance for yourself. Negative thoughts will slip in from time to time but as you practice, it will get easier. Trust yourself and the positive affirmation process. It will change your life.

Being positive truly has great power !